Sunday, July 8, 2007

Two scoops of idiocy

I get the idea behind having wacky characters who say weird things in your commercials. Really, I do. If people laugh, maybe that helps them remember your brand; whatever gets people talking about a product is good. But for God's sake, do they have to be this stupid?

I mean, I guess there are things about this ad that are kind of funny. But there are way more that are incredibly annoying.

Tool #1: "I had this dream last night, there were no raisins. So I went to the store to buy Raisin Bran Crunch? Just Bran Crunch."
Tool #2: "Well, at least you still had the crunchy flakes and granola clusters. I mean, that's the money right there."
Tool #1: "Nightmare! No raisins!"
Tool #2: "As long as Mrs. Flake and Mr. Granola are coming to Crunch Town, it's a great time."

Okay. I realize that you want people to mention the attributes of your cereal and why they're enjoyable. This is the best you could do? Why don't people in commercials ever talk like actual people? "That's the money right there?" "It's a great time?" These sound like something that was shit out as a result of focus group over-testing, to say nothing of the fact that Mrs. Flake and Mr. Granola Are Coming to Crunch Town sounds like the title of some insane promotional children's story that Raisin Bran Crunch made up to sell more cereal.

Also, I'm pretty sure there are cereals out there that consist of crunchy flakes and granola clusters or at least very close facsimiles (Honey Bunches of Oats, anyone?). Why would you let one of the characters in your commercial suggest that your cereal has no need for one of its main constituents? "Man, Raisin Bran Crunch is pretty good. I sure wish it didn't have all these raisins, though."

Tool #3: "I had this dream where Sunny and I, we, uh, we went dancing at this club, we had a little [some noises that are apparently supposed to sound like the inside of a club]..."
[Tools #1 and #2 stare at Tool #3]

Ha ha ha! That guy has a homoerotic crush on the Raisin Bran mascot!

I like that when the guy says "Sunny," he has to point to the box and we have to cut to a closer shot so we can get a good look at Sunny himself. I know it's been a while since Raisin Bran actually made the sun the focus of their advertising, but did we need to go quite that far?

This ad epitomizes one of my biggest pet peeves, which is ads that have a character say something completely stupid or insane, and then other characters in the ad give him a "that was stupid or insane" look. You can't have it both ways. If you're going to create a character, and have him say something completely insane, you have to sort of run with that, not turn it into "Why would someone say something like that???" You told him to say it. You thought it would be funny. It's really not. If it's funny at all, it's only because it's not funny, and that just sucks. You couldn't have spent a little more money to get an actual joke in there?

Announcer: "There are plenty of reasons to love Kellogg's Raisin Bran Crunch. What's yours?"

Not the ads for it, that's for damn sure. Seriously - there are enough cereals out there that if you only like part of Raisin Bran Crunch, you can find another cereal that is just that part. "Bran Crunch" pretty much exists, albeit under a different name. This isn't some weird alternate universe where there's only one cereal, and dreams where parts of it are gone constitute a peek into a strange new world. There might be plenty of reasons to love Raisin Bran Crunch, but if you don't love all of them, you're probably not going to buy it. The implications behind this ad are completely counterproductive, Kellogg's. Try a little harder.


Quivering P. Landmass said...

I'm too lazy to look this up right now, but I really hope their slogan is just "What's yours?" Because without the preceding line "There are plenty of reasons to love Kellogg's Raisin Bran Crunch...", it makes no sense!

Andy said...

A++++ for this blog, this commercial sucks so bad! I cannot believe someone was paid to come up with this, and if I was the President of Kellog I would fire everyone involved with the production of this commercial and then fire myself. I will never eat Raisin Bran again because of this annoying ass commercial. Another companies I have boycotted due to stupid ass advertising include, McDonalds, Jarod Jewelers, and Hardee's.....