Saturday, July 7, 2007

Insects can sell anything!

The folks at Nasonex grew up eating a lot of Cheerios:

Because this isn't the worst ad I've ever seen, I want to call out the good and the bad.

Actually talks about product
Shows differentiating information (i.e. 6 million people claim)
Does not use following words, "Big, juicy, yo, mmm, mama, rocks, lad, rip, go, thinkin', heavy-duty, meat, Olive Garden"

The bee
Bad acting
Typical pharmaceutical ad boilerplate
The bee
Confusing a frisbee with a boomerang (frisbees do not change directions like that)
Questionable decor in the living room
The bee
Hmm... I'm sure there's a couple other small things about this commercial that suck...
Oh, and, the &*$#@% bee

There's one overarching flaw with this commercial, isn't there? I'll give you a hint: it's incredibly distracting, unforgivably annoying, and rhymes with "painfulLY."

I want to help Nasonex out here. So I've decided to write an FAQ that Nasonex can place up on in case any visitors have questions about these ads. Feel free to reprint this on your site, Nasonex -- I do not expect any payment or acknowledgment. I just want to pitch in and do my part.

Q: Why is there a bee in your ads?
A: The bee is a whimsical representation of a nasal allergy congestion sufferer. Bees are close to flowers and pollen all day, so who better to pitch our brand than mother nature's allergy expert? Also, our Marketing Director is an amateur apiarist and has kind of a weird, fetishy thing for bees.

Q: Why is the bee so poorly animated?
A: As it turns out, computer animation is on the pricier side. Our solution was to have our Marketing Director's 8-year old use Microsoft Paint to create the first round of animation. After that, we bid out the animation contract to many different studios to make sure we got the bee we wanted, with the most important factor in the decision being price. As I think you'll see, the bee has come a long way since that first round of animation.

Q: What's up with the bee's ridiculous accent? Isn't that unnecessary?
A: That accent is actually the work of Hollywood superstar Antonio Banderas! I'm surprised you couldn't tell that just by listening!

Q: Seriously? You went out and got Banderas for the voice of that bee?
A: Seriously! That is indeed Antonio, the Andalusian master himself.

Q: Why would you spend so much money on Antonio Banderas if no casual viewer would ever know it's him?
A: Well, we had a lot of money left over from the animation budget.

Q: How come the bee doesn't know how to emphasize words properly? Doesn't this make everyone want to turn the channel immediately?
A: We think that's just part of the bee's character and charm! He's a wacky, fun-loving Spanish bee, and he has a wacky, fun-loving delivery. Also, we could only afford one take with Antonio.

Let me put it plainly, Nasonex. If you took the bee out of this commercial, you would never have been written up in this blog in the first place. The bee was completely uncalled-for, and it's not helping your commercial. For instance, look at these real-life comments from viewers on your ad on YouTube:

My 18mth old daughter loves this bee!
My 20 month old daughter goes NUTS for this bee too!!! THANKS!!!
Thank you! My toddler goes apeshit over this 'Nasonex Bee'!

Now, Nasonex, I know you might be thinking, "Bitchin'! People love these ads!" But I want you to stop and think if there's anything fishy about those comments. Like, maybe they're all about kids? Like, kids under 2-years old? And are 2-year olds getting prescriptions for nasal allergy congestion medication? See where I'm going with this?

The bee is a cartoon character. Cartoon characters sell products to kids -- think: Tony the Tiger, the Trix rabbit, Joe Camel. Adults looking for nasal allergy symptom relief are probably not going to respond to a cartoon. Much less a poorly-executed, manically-voiced one.

Next time, cut out the bee, teach your actors how to sneeze convincingly, add in a personable spokesman, and fire your freaking computer graphics company.


Windier E. Megatons said...

Well, as that original ad shows, the first Nasonex pitch was "a bee who's allergic to pollen! Ha ha, how wacky!" Then when they realized that bees weren't buying enough nasal spray, they changed the target audience to humans but kept the bee. Because, as a satisfied Nasonex user, I guess he would know...

Quivering P. Landmass said...

Did a little digging around, and it turns out the animator and director of the commercial is one Neal Adams:

Anyone up for