Thursday, July 5, 2007

Do *you* come with the body spray?

It's hard to believe that a world in which Axe and Tag exist has room for another body spray with an ad campaign worse than either of those, but here's the proof:

Axe has stupid ads, but at least they're tongue-in-cheek. The geniuses behind the RGX campaign have bought wholeheartedly into the hype. Rather than a slew of largely faceless women throwing themselves at the guy as in most Axe ads, the RGX ads feature a lone woman, posing seductively for the viewer, leaning on the idea that if he uses RGX, this is the class of woman he will be able to attract. One of the viewer comments on the YouTube page for this video about says it all: "If this body spray could get me one date with that woman I would probably buy a lifetime supply!" Of course that's what Right Guard is counting on. The whole premise reminds me of the Simpsons episode where they go to the auto show and the woman is posing on the "Win a free car!" car. First 15 seconds of this video:

Advertisers think men are troglodytes with poor handles on causality. That's why there are so many ads for male-oriented products - beer, snack foods, deodorant - that lean so heavily on the idea that use of this product means more sex.

Woman: "Don't act, don't assume, don't presume, don't fake. Just be yourself. You know how to do that. Don't you?"

Apparently by spraying on a mass-produced aerosol deodorant to cover up your nasty man-odor. There are four whole scents! So on average, you should only smell like 25% of the other bar patrons!

By the way, did the writer of this commercial look up "assume" and "presume" in the dictionary before he wrote it? Because they basically mean the exact same fucking thing. While we're at it, "don't act" and "don't fake" pretty much mean the same thing in this context too. Was it really that hard to come up with two other verbs that a guy shouldn't do on the date he's never going to have with this woman? (For that matter, what the crap is he "assuming?" This ad doesn't make a lick of sense.)

Woman: "Are you ready to step up?"

Yeah, nothing says stepping up like masking your horrible sweaty smell with a cheap, generic scent you picked up at the 7-11 on the way to your date! Man, this woman likes her some classy dates. I can't wait to get my RGX so I can nail her.


Quivering P. Landmass said...

The RGX web site describes its "Rush" scent as having "clean, pure energy with aquatic, woody warmth."

I'm pretty sure they replaced a writer with a magnetic poetry kit. That would sure help explain the commercials.

Tyler said...

These commercials bother me to no end. I love how they say "don't fake" while essentially arguing that you need to wear a manufactured scent.

Plus, it doesn't help not into the "actress" they're using; she's an odd mix of Kristin Kreuk and Denise Richards, which is not a good combo.