Sunday, July 1, 2007

McDonald's: We're way better than this company we just made up

Companies that are second or third in market share often advertise their products from the angle of bashing their #1 competitor, hoping that that will drive sales. Pepsi does it to Coke, Macs do it to PCs, etc. But what do you do if you're McDonald's and you're already the #1 company in your corner of the market? Apparently, you invent other companies to bash.

If you were the founder of a website, why would you compare your company to the Big Mac? Wouldn't you say something like, "It's gonna be bigger than Yahoo" or "It's gonna be bigger than Google"? Wouldn't that just make a lot more sense? You also have to love the way in which this ad actually positions the founders as smug assholes - particularly in the split screen interview about halfway through - so that it will make McDonald's itself seem less smug when it tears down this company that it invented for this ad at the end.

Does McDonald's know how web counters work? What's with the numbers shuffling around like it's generating a random sequence? "Wait, did we get 67 million hits? Oh, only three? Well, those numbers are very close together, I can see how we got confused!" Also, the very idea of a website getting only three hits upon its launch - especially one that had been promoted in a national television interview - is fucking retarded. I'm amazed anyone at McDonald's knew enough about the internet to actually get the corresponding site up in real life.

So here's the voiceover at the end of the ad:

"With 100% beef, nothing tops the Big Mac."

Yeah! Take that, Gofbot! What were you thinking only using 87% beef? That's why you shouldn't try competing with a massive hamburger chain, you fake web company, you! I mean, why even invoke the name as an offhand comparison if you weren't going to back it up? You deserve to have this thrown back in your imaginary faces by having some douchebag walk up and confirm that it's not as big as the Big Mac, in this totally fake, impossible, didn't happen, will never happen scenario that we made up for you! Don't fuck with McDonald's!


Quivering P. Landmass said...

At the end of the ad it shows in the legal "At participating McDonald's." What kind of McDonald's doesn't have a Big Mac? Apparently enough that they need that disclaimer in there. Take that, Big Mac!

Windier E. Megatons said...

I guess it's the Mitch Hedberg-run McDonald's that just has spaghetti and blankets.