Dare to be stupid

I sure hope Raisin Bran Crunch is seeing its sales shoot through the roof, because I can't think of a single other legitimate reason why you'd want to bring back these characters for yet another go-round.



Giving your product "superfans" does not strike me as a terribly effective marketing gimmick. First of all, no one thinks these guys are real; we know you made them up. Second of all, superfans are not indicative of quality - look at the cult that exists around something like Spam, for fuck's sake. And third of all... why would you consciously make an ad campaign in which the only people who go ga-ga over your product are total fucking retards?

Dim Bulb 1: "So, if you work here, do you get free Raisin Bran Crunch?"

I believe this is a follow-up to another ad we didn't bother to take on, in which our motley crew of imbeciles tours the Raisin Bran Crunch plant. I'm a little surprised they were even let in the door. And I assume this guy's acting notes were, "Use your hands as much as possible?"

Dim Bulb 2: "Hey guys! I got the marketing director on the phone!"

I don't work in advertising, as I think I make clear often enough, but I'm pretty sure this isn't how it works.

Raisin Bran Crunch Marketing Director: Yes, Betty, who is it?
Betty: Sir, I have three members of the general public on the line.
RBCMD: I see...
Betty: I believe they want to pitch some taglines for the cereal.
RBCMD: Betty, you realize that we have an entire staff of people dedicated to thinking up taglines for Raisin Bran Crunch.
Betty: I'll just put them through, sir...
Dim Bulb Gang: Hello?
RBCMD: Note to self: fire Betty.

Dim Bulb 2: "It's time to pitch the taglines."
Dim Bulb 3: "The crunch is so great, it makes me salivate."
DB2: "Raisin Bran Crunch? More like Amazin' Bran Crunch."
DB3: "You'll really enjoy this cereal." [goofy, self-satisfied look]
DB1: "Raisin Bran Crunch - buy me some, Mom!"
[DB2 and DB3 stare at DB1]

This is basically exactly the same punchline as the first ad from this series that we talked about, wherein Dim Bulb 1 - referred to in that post as "Tool #3" - ends up the commercial by saying something so dumb/crazy/pathetic that his friends, who I think we can say are established as being pretty dumb/crazy/pathetic themselves, end up staring at him with these "I can't believe you just said that" looks.

But these are your characters. It's one thing in an initial ad where maybe this is just some goofy joke one-off. But we're now at the point where these guys are the Raisin Bran Crunch spokespeople. And maybe, just maybe, you don't want your spokespeople to be three guys who were deemed too embarrassing even to play the "Sales Guys" in an Alltel ad. I mean, here's Raisin Bran Crunch even resorting to the hoary old "mother's basement" cliché - while depicting a guy who loves Raisin Bran Crunch! Are they insulting the people who buy their cereal? Are they just idiots looking for a cheap laugh? Hey, why can't it be both?

Come to think of it, if this is really the best the ad wizards at Raisin Bran Crunch can come up with, maybe they should be taking unsolicited suggestions from slightly deranged members of the general public. I assume we'll be seeing the marketing director's phone number at the bottom of the next ad.