Yesterday I posted about an email ad, so today I'm taking on a small insert in a direct mail package. Basically, I'm leaving all the meaty stuff for Windier (I know he's looking forward to seeing his favorite all-time company, Burger King, introduce their "Little King" kids mascot.) I'm happy just making fun of cheap, small-time advertising. Anyway, check out this herculean bit of salesmanship by the Detroit-area museum attraction, The Henry Ford:
The one place you must visit in your lifetime.
Funny, because before I got this in the mail yesterday, I'd never heard of The Henry Ford. There are a lot of places I feel like I must visit in my lifetime. Washington DC, the Grand Canyon, Manhattan, Paris, The Great Barrier Reef, etc. etc. I'm a fan of museums, too, and there are a many that you need to check out while you're on Earth, like the Smithsonian, the Louvre, MoMA, the Prado, many, many others. The Henry Ford doesn't even make that list. I guess maybe if we were talking about must-see museums outside Detroit, then I'd put The Henry Ford on there.
"The one* place** you must visit in your lifetime***"
***If spent entirely in Michigan
Here you will walk where legends have walked and come face to face with America's most treasured artifacts.
Ahh, Dearborn, Michigan. Site of Edison's laboratory. The place that Lincoln was shot in. Where Rosa Parks took a stand against Jim Crow laws in the South. . . Wait, you mean all those treasured artifacts were transported to Michigan?
It's more like "walk where legendary tourists have walked." Also, "America's most treasured artifacts?" Look, Rosa Parks' bus is an important artifact. So is George Washington's camp bed. But, "most treasured"? It's not like they have the Constitution and Betsy Ross' American flag hanging above Henry Ford's old mantle here
This is The Henry Ford. America's Greatest History Attraction.
Yeah, except... the Smithsonian? The American Museum of Natural History? The Capital building? Like, any one of hundreds of other history attractions that are more notable than The Henry Ford? Are we pretending those don't exist?
Might be telling that for just 89 smackeroos, you can get "admission for two at two attractions plus overnight accommodations." I mean, are you sleeping in Rosa Parks' bus for that price? What kind of accommodations are these?
"This is The Henry Ford. America's Most Affordable Transplanted History Attraction."