Thursday, October 4, 2007

Wait, what's down there in that tiny print?

Fine print in commercials is usually pretty useless. "Do not attempt at home." "Professional driver on closed course." Pretty standard stuff, which I imagine most people glaze over at this point. Maybe that's why GlaxoSmithKline thought they could sneak this one through.

That Veramyst sounds like a great product. It's going to relieve my allergies. I'm just a layman, so I don't know exactly how it's doing that, but I mean, surely the sophisticated scientists at GlaxoSmithKline know what they're doing.

Wait. What did that fine print say? Down there at the bottom?

Hmm. That seems pretty standard. I don't think that was what I saw... keep going...

No, that's a pretty standard disclaimer. I'm just not sure what...

Wait! Freeze it right there!

What? Seriously, what the fuck kind of disclaimer is that? You have no idea how it alleviates allergies, it just does? That's supposed to be good enough? I don't even understand how this got approved by the FDA. Do you just go in there, tell them you've come up with this new drug that cures cancer by harnessing the magic of unicorns and pixies, and boom, overnight millionaire? Because if so, I think tomorrow I'm going to be "developing some miraculous new medicines," if you know what I'm saying.*

The best part about this commercial is that they had to put this fine print up because the announcer actually is telling you how Veramyst is purported to work. He claims, "Veramyst is the kind of medicine that works on a whole range of chemicals that lead to your allergy symptoms." Note the ridiculously vague language there, of course. The kind of medicine? A whole range of chemicals? I can hardly wait for the scandal caused when ten people die and it turns out that due to insufficient funds, the clinical trial was actually conducted in a high school chem class. Not the AP or honors classes, either. Level three.

*putting Tic Tacs into prescription bottles labeled "fixaidsia"

1 comment:

Quivering P. Landmass said...

Insane. Pharma advertising is the devil's work. Doesn't the white box around that legal type during the commercial just look like complete shit? Really cheap-looking. Couldn't they have just run that along the bottom in black box with reversed-out type or something?