Saturday, October 27, 2007

It is so creepy

You know how when you eat meat, you don't really want to run into a big piece of fat or tendon or anything, not just because it's gross, but because it reminds you that you're eating what used to be a living animal? I kind of feel the same way about yogurt.

It's one thing to know there's live cultures in your yogurt. It's another thing to see them animated (awkwardly) and running amok on your TV screen. This is the best way they had to get the point across? Hey, live and active cultures! The voice-over woman even makes sure to put extra stress on "live" and "active" when she says them for the second time in five seconds. "Get it? Active! Look, they're dancing around!" And spinning plates to "Sabre Dance" in what seems like an homage to the Ed Sullivan Show, because this is 1965 and everyone will get that joke. They'll also definitely get the reference to the films of Busby Berkeley that follows, because this is 1936 and his career is at its peak. Maybe in the follow-up to this ad we can see the cultures dressed in leisure suits, dancing to "Stayin' Alive." You know, 'cause they're live cultures? Oh man, this is pure gold!

Maybe the problem is the way the cultures are depicted. They look like little pink squishy pigs, except they stand on two feet and have defined limbs. That's just kind of horrifying. Can you imagine if you were watching one of those old Beef: It's What's For Dinner ads and a CGI cow jumped off the stove and started dancing around to "Hoedown" while the voice-over suggested various ways to prepare the meat? Frankly, that's not even close to as bad because at least you can see cows with the naked eye. I'm fine with live cultures when I can't see them. When they're doing backflips into my yogurt like I'm about to eat a cup of strawberry-flavored ants, I think that's where I stop being very hungry.


Quivering P. Landmass said...

Oh my God, eating yogurt is mass murder!! I've never felt so guilty in my whole life.

What kind of thought process led to the decision to use the slogan "It is so good"? That slogan could literally be used for every other company or brand that ever existed. Your slogan might as well just be "Buy this!"

Andrew N.P. said...

It worked better when it was in French: "c'est ci bon." Because Americans are stupid, so everything in French sounds either profound or sexy, even trite declarations like "it is so good."

And am I the only one who thinks those little cultures are cute? I'm going to right now to see if they sell plushies of those little pink whatsits, which may or may not play a few bars from "Sabre Dance" when you squeeze them.

UPDATE: they do not sell plush Live and Active Cultures. Cheap bastards.