Sunday, October 7, 2007

A man in the kitchen? What is this, Opposite Day?

Watch enough family-oriented fast food commercials and the endlessly repetitive world of advertising will drill two things into your head: men can't cook, and they'll always cover this up by ordering fast food.

Older daughter: "Dad's making dinner?"
Younger daughter: [scoffs disgustedly]

Dad's making dinner? Oh no. Sweet merciful crap. God, why have you forsaken us? You see, our father is a staggering incompetent, incapable of even the most rudimentary culinary achievements, such as boiling water. Men, huh? Am I right, ladies?

Wife: "Oh, it'll be fine! Maybe."

Say, question: if the entire rest of the family has such little confidence in Dad's cooking skills, why do they leave him in charge of it?

Kids: "Yes! No way! Wow!" etc.

No way? No way??? "Holy shit, this is unbelievable! Pizza, here in our house! I thought a feast of such staggering proportions - not one but two pizzas, breadsticks, two liters of soda - was available only to the richest Americans, but now I discover that our family can also live the life of Riley! Thanks, Dad! Thanks, Pizza Hut!"

Husband: "Who's the man?"

Let me just check "use of severely dated catchphrase that has moved into unironic use by middle-aged white men and therefore should immediately be retired" off my list of Ten Trademark Signs You're Watching a Shitty Commercial.

Wife: "I love you!"

Wait until you see the four false starts at meatloaf he left in the kitchen for you to clean up. Because men can't cook! Wa ha ha! They earn their wives' love by having pizza delivered!

Announcer: "Pizza Hut's Family Value Meal is easy!"

"Forget the significantly healthier meal you could put together at half the price! Call now and we'll throw in a couple Doughy Fat-Starch Balls for just $1.99!"

Dad: "Who says I can't cook?"

A host of lazy, hackneyed, unfunny ads like this one.


Anonymous said...

this was funny - post more!


Clarke said...

You hit the nail on the head with this. It's not the first, and certainly not the last of it's kind.

It's OK to make men look stupid, incompetent and foolish on television lately. And no one has a problem with it, obviously. How many more erectile disfunction commercials do we have to endure? When's that pill coming out that cures a woman's "headache"? Because I think that's a much larger problem that hasn't been addressed yet.

Truth be told, men can cook - and quite well. The vast majority of executive chefs in multi-star Michelin restaurants are men. And to make matters worse, I'm not sure what it is that Pizza Hut is serving - but it sure as Hell isn't pizza. It tends to taste just slightly better than the box it comes in.

Windier E. Megatons said...

Well, let's be fair here - there are ED ads every ten seconds because there's a big demand for those products among men. It would be a direct comparison only if those ads made fun of guys who couldn't get it up. "Hey Droopy, looks like you could use some Viagra!"

Anonymous said...

I just want to know who is the mom in this one. I swear she wa a girlfirend of kirk cameron or on some 90s TV show that I just can't think of.

JP said...

Those girls and mother think it's torture for having the man cook? Not nearly as much torture as having to endure this horrible commercial. And that is pathetic, "Who's the man" a catchphrase that's so 10 + years ago. And that makes you want to vomit, so silly, the woman only says that, "I love you" because he had pizza delivered. Too bad an asteroid didn't come along and wipe them all out suddenly. THAT would be funny!

Ian said...

cannot tell if it's a stunningly accurate portrayal of any delivery driver or the actual actor's soul-crushing grimace as he hands over the goods. Thanks for destroying my entire day. -cXnX