Sunday, February 8, 2009

The annoyance lasts an extra long time

You know, Kellogg's, giving one of your most famous products a brand makeover would have been the perfect excuse to rid yourselves of the most annoying pitchmen you've got. But apparently you think their continuous idiocy and complaints about half of the product are good for business?

Guys who camp out in front of a store just to get a few boxes of cereal? And Michael Phelps is the one who gets dropped for smoking pot?

Obnoxious Loser #1: "Yeah, looks like we're gonna be the first to buy new Raisin Bran Extra."
Obnoxious Loser #2: "Surprised nobody else is here for the big debut of the almonds."

I'm guessing that anyone else who even considered it pulled up in front of the store, saw these guys out there, and instantly reevaluated what they were doing with their life.

Obnoxious Loser #3: "Oh, guys, I can see it! They're setting it up right now."

I believe this is the first time this actor has been given a line that doesn't involve a stupid non-sequitur at the end of the ad. Congrats, guy.

Obnoxious Loser #1: "Is it true? Are there really gonna be cranberries?"
Obnoxious Loser #3: "Yup, I can see the boxes, and there's definitely yogurty clusters in there too."

Wait a second - it's been well-established that what OL1 likes best about Raisin Bran Crunch is the raisins. But now he's a cranberry obsessive? Maybe he just really loves dried fruit.

Okay, hang onto your socks, people. This is about to get hilarious.

[A woman enters the store, glancing at the trio as she walks past. OL3 starts banging on the window.]

OL3: "Hey... you're cutting the line!"

[Variations on this continue for fully 15 seconds.]

I was prepared to say that this ad was not nearly as bad as the other Raisin Bran Crunch ads that we've made fun of on this site. It doesn't feature any truly stupid jokes and doesn't have any of the pitchmen suggesting that one full aspect of the product is inedible. But my God, really? If you're going to make a commercial a minute long, you need to have a good reason to do so. But 15 seconds, a full 25% of the ad, is devoted to nothing more than this idiot banging on the glass like he's at a hockey game?

OL2: "I think this is a 24-hour store."

[Our three brain surgeons rush into the store.]

And once again, your pitchmen are shown to be idiots, since the "24 Hour Savings" banner can be seen within the ad's first five seconds. Also, given that they went with this joke, why was the woman not shown buying a box of the Raisin Bran Extra? That seems like a much funnier payoff to me, and fits with OL3's "Noooooo!" But as far as I can tell she doesn't even pick up a box. That's all you could think to do with that gag? Really?

OL3: "They sell it in stores!"

That's your tagline? Um, okay. Hilarious. Remember the Raisin Bran Crunch ad where they made fun of the guys for coming up with super lame taglines like "You'll really enjoy this cereal?" Now they're actually using the taglines with no more than a slight whiff of irony, and they're even worse than the ones suggested since at least "You'll really enjoy this cereal" is a positive testimonial for the product. "They sell it in stores" is right up there with these other, rejected taglines:

"Raisin Bran Extra: It comes in a box!"

"Raisin Bran Extra: Technically, the cereal is inside a plastic bag inside a box."

"Raisin Bran Extra: You know how it can sometimes be annoying to open that plastic bag, like you're pulling and it won't open right, and then you accidentally tear it halfway down the side and it won't quite pour right? Doesn't that suck? Anyway, that's the kind of bag it's in."

"Raisin Bran Extra: The capital of New Zealand is Wellington."


Windier E. Megatons said...

By the way, thanks to the anonymous commenter on the KGB post who mentioned that this ad existed.

Joe said...

This ad is an incredibly lame attempt at humor. It's not even remotely funny... and you're right - a 60 second commercial for this?!?!

Wouldn't they realize it was a 24 hour store IMMEDIATELY after pulling up?

capewood said...

I saw the short version, without the window banging. Not any better, just shorter. My son works at a convenience store and I'm pretty sure he'd have called the police within 10 minutes of these losers setting up camp.

TRichter said...

There's something oddly hypnotic about the third douche nozzle screaming "You're cutting the line!" over and over like that. Possible internet meme in the making?

Also, if they started selling this cereal with the tagline "Raisin Bran Extra: It comes in a box! Well, technically, the cereal is inside a plastic bag inside a box", I would run, not walk, to the store and buy five boxes.