Sunday, May 11, 2008

Is that an exploding geyser in your pocket, or are you just happy to be staying at the Westin?

Advertising has some history with phallic imagery. Camel cigarettes, for instance, made a name for themselves with their penile corporate mascot Joe Camel (about whom Norm MacDonald once quipped, "subliminally he was a camel.") But that was back in the day when it was okay to sell smokes to kids, and advertising has since cleaned up its act. Right? Well, not if Westin Hotels has anything to say about it -- check out their latest print ad (this is from The New Yorker):

Releasing tension has never been easier with our signature Heavenly® experience.

Uh huh. You show a skyrocketing, frothy white geyser, and we're supposed to think that's "releasing tension"? Please. I mean, was the subliminal ejaculation here intentional, or did it truly not occur to anyone that "Hey, maybe a soaring explosion of white liquid might make people think we're selling rooms for sexual rendez-vous..."

And do these guys really own a trademark on the word "Heavenly"? Those beds better be comfortable beyond all reasonable belief.

Start letting go at

Westin seems to go back and forth over whether they want people to think "ejaculation" or "urination" here.

This is how it should feel. Westin Hotels & Resorts.

"This is how it should feel, boys. Staying in one of our rooms is like one voluminous, unending orgasm. Just shooting it non-stop, all-night -- an unfettered, fantastic disgorgement. Come blow your load here at the Westin -- go ahead, anywhere you want. This is how it should feel."

This isn't as bad as Joe Camel shilling tobacco to children, but it sure seems grosser.


Windier E. Megatons said...

I'm bringing my UV light on any future stays at a Westin I may have.

Anonymous said...

Give me a break guys. You are reading way to into the ad. I know the person who created this ad and in no shape or form was it about getting off. If you look at anything to long you can find it off key.

Get a life.

Quivering P. Landmass said...


Yeah, you know what? We have lives, thanks. The point of this site is to poke fun at different kinds of ads that stand out to us. I could give a fuck about the person who created this ad -- or, rather, the huge team of people involved in its development (it ain't just one guy, dude) -- we make fun of what we want, and we find these kind of comments SO FUCKING BORING.

You got a problem? Then contribute something to the argument. Don't just bitch at me and be all "you guys don't have lives." I bet your life must be a fucking donkey ride to heaven, seeing as you're spending it reading shit you hate online.