Saturday, April 5, 2008

Man, that's some good carpet

Anyone who has lived in the Chicagoland area is familiar with the advertising phenomenon that is Luna Flooring. Their phone number, along with fellow Chicago carpet maker Empire Today's, is forever embedded in everyone's brain, "7-7-3, 2-Oh-2.... (beep beep beep beep) LUNA!" They also make bad, bad, low-budget commercials. Their latest offering, however, might be their most inexplicably imbecile yet. Observe:

Wife: I love you. You're so gorgeous and warm.

Hmm, who is she talking to? A baby maybe. Or a pet perhaps? Or maybe she's cheating on her husband, and she just got caught! Or maybe....

Wife: I feel so comfortable around you. (sees husband) Oh, hi sweetie!

..... Oh. She was talking to the carpet. Because this is something people do, apparently. Also, she should be far more embarrassed to have someone walk in on her while she's having a conversation with carpeting.

Not that anyone who's not employed by a carpet manufacturer would know, but the use of both "comfortable" and "warm" in this commercial are puns -- carpet being more "comfortable" and "warm underfoot" than, say, hardwood flooring. The lesson is: goofy industry jokes don't really work in 30 second spots.

Husband: Are you talking to our new carpet again?

She's done this before? If this is a regular occurrence around the house, then it's gone beyond "cute, kinda weird behavior" to "all-out insanity." Please consider psychiatric help.

Wife: I'm so glad I chose you. And you were free!

It was only free if it was the "second room," whatever that means. So this part is a little misleading.

Husband: (shakes head in amused disbelief)

I'm telling you, dude, psychiatric help. That's what you need in this situation. It's not just an eccentricity, it's a medical problem.

"Luna Flooring: we lace our carpets with jimson weed and ecstasy so that you'll really love your floors."


Clock Cleaner said...

God... I could just blow my load all over that carpet. How could anything be so incredibly sexy?

Anonymous said...

I have a thing for that broad. Is that wrong?

Quivering P. Landmass said...

Sorry, anonymous. Unless you're a length of new carpet, you're out of her league.