Beer heaven can wait

Unless you're a rowdy drunk in the bleachers at a baseball game, is anyone's idea of heaven a place where the only beer is Miller Lite?



First off, a couple things about the bar itself. I think that having a basketball game playing under your air hockey game would be really distracting. Already this is not seeming very heavenly. Also, the weird reclining chair right at the bar? Beer Heaven needs to hire some better designers.

Announcer: "Only one beer is good enough for Beer Heaven."

"Only one beer - ours, of course - is good enough for a place that only exists inside of an ad that we created to promote that very same beer." This reminds me of those DiSaronno ads where people are inexplicably frequenting bars that stock nothing but amaretto; if you like beer enough that being in "Beer Heaven" is something that might appeal to you, I'm guessing you probably don't like Miller Lite enough for it to be your beer of choice in this eternal bliss. But hey, anything's possible when you make stuff up. Like how Dr. Pepper is the only soft drink served in the legendary city of El Dorado, or how the Purple Grawnaks, an alien race that inhabits a planet in orbit around Betelguese, are suckers for the tangy zip of Miracle Whip.

Announcer: "Miller Lite - the ultimate light beer."

This may be true, but is it really something worth bragging about? It's kind of like a bag of wet coffee grounds promoting itself as "the ultimate garbage."