Tuesday, April 22, 2008

Food sex! Food sex! Food sex, everybody!

Hey fellas! Ever smell bacon and instantly get an erection? No? Surely you must be mistaken, because Taco Bell says that's what our natural, bodily response should be:



Girl 1: This place is great.
Girl 2: So many cute guys here.
Girl 1: Mmhmm. Do you smell.... bacon?
Girl 2: Oh, yeah, it's a Bacon Club Chalupa (reveals one hidden in her handbag). Guys love bacon.

What are the odds that her purse wouldn't be just smothered in Chalupa residue? And for the Chalupa, is that really an appetizing presentation of food -- crammed in a small, shiny purse?

Girl 1: Like that's really gonna work, come on.

Guys will absolutely be approaching you in the bar tonight, ladies. Not because of the bacon on that Chalupa you squeezed into your purse but, rather, because you're totally hot. You do not need bacon to attract men. A fried taco in your purse could only hurt your chances of landing a random dude.

Guys: Hi... Hey... How's it goin'? What is that you're wearing it's.... it's intoxicating.

"Oh, it's not actually something I'm wearing - it's this greasy fast food taco that I keep in my handbag to get men to talk to me!"

I guess her strategy worked all along! Just think of how little ass they'd be getting if they didn't have that trusty bacon aroma. They'd just be two modelesque, single girls sitting at a bar all dolled up waiting for sex -- what guy is interested in that, am I right?

Voiceover: Taco Bell's Bacon Club Chalupa is back. Bacon lovers rejoice! (tiny bacon crumbles drop onto top of loaded Chalupa)

Wow! Look at all that bacon! That looks like at least 10 or 15 tiny orts of bacon I'll be getting on my Chalupa. Oh, no, don't worry, that's plenty of bacon. I'm sure I'll be able to taste it through the chicken, lettuce, cheese, tomatoes, sauce and fried Gordita shell. Bacon lovers truly should rejoice!


I think the bottom line here is: if you want to use sex appeal to sell food, don't incorporate the food into any kind of sexual activity. They're really two separate urges, food and sex, so just show a hot girl eating a taco and be done with it. It's an old joke, anyway, the notion of a "bacon perfume," and it just doesn't work to sell me on Mexican fast food.

5 comments:

Windier E. Megatons said...

This would have made a better ad for fish tacos.

Tyler said...

George Costanza would be proud of this commercial, what with his efforts to combine eating and sex.

Quivering P. Landmass said...

That's funny - I was thinking of that episode when I saw this ad. But, food AND sex together is one thing -- food turning one on sexually? That's another thing that I'm just not buying -- not like it's represented in this commercial, anyway.

Anonymous said...

If that redhead is "modelesque", I'll eat a Taco Bell dinner stranded 50 miles from the nearest toilet.

Ian said...

maybe she's into guys whoarearousedby bacon, other penises need not apply. also, gotta agree with the above, the girls are at best vaguely alluring (based mostly on the fact that they--or one--will by you a meal, regardless of pork fat inclusion to coerce a hot beef injection)

thanks as always- Ian (cXnX)