Sunday, September 2, 2007

Pierce uses everybody.

This is so blatantly manipulative that I'm surprised that it isn't an SNL parody commercial.

If the kid is savvy enough to know that she should whisper the line "He's making a lot more money," I don't for a second believe that she's simperingly naïve enough to refer to the website as "this thing called" (which her mommy "gave" to her father) rather than saying "my mommy told my daddy about a website called" She's gonna be a sleazy snake oil peddler when she grows up, just like dad!

Does the salesman look familiar to you? Remember this?

Say, little lady, does your mommy know that your daddy is running around on her? Did she see the generic blonde getting out of your daddy's sports car in the last three seconds of the commercial? And to add insult to injury, does your mommy know that your daddy is passing off SalesGenie as his own "work smarter" idea, instead of telling his young protegé that his wife bailed his ass out of the ignominious hell of low-tier salesmanship?

Also, he's just rolled up in a burgundy SUV. Did he sell the sports car to cover his ass? Wait a minute, that white gabled house isn't even the same McMansion we saw in the last commercial! He's got a whole other secret life.

Sorry, I got distracted by the details. Psst, kid, the audience might not have heard how excited you are about the puppies, and that's the money shot. Say it again! "Puppy! Puppy!" Then again, there *are* two of them. Maybe I'm being too cynical and she's just showing off her puppy counting abilities.


Windier E. Megatons said...

It really is just stunningly awful. I also love the fact that they couldn't be bothered to hire a different actor. " Home to exactly one satisfied customer!"

Quivering P. Landmass said...

I love the underlying message that actual work is for chumps. Her daddy worked really hard and didn't make a lot of money. But then came along, and now he's bringing home puppies? Does SalesGenie find contacts, call them up, sell your products, close the deal and mail you a check? I'm pretty sure there's actual work involved even if you use SalesGenie.

If it sounds too good to be true, it is.

Windier E. Megatons said...

At least in this ad it's only the underlying message. Remember, in the other one, Pierce actually says "only fools work hard."

c12h22o11 said...

Time to go home to my mansion and eat my lobster!

The Underachiever said...

I sooooo agree with this entry. bought spots early on in the ND-Michigan and USC-Nebraska games for this ad, which were the first two times (and, please God, let it be the last two times) I got to see it.

Oh, what a horrid, rancid, awful ad.

Anonymous said...

i happened to stumble upon your website while in the process of doing homework, and i laughed my ass off at the first few paragraphs. one, i dont find you funny at all. i laughed because personally i think you are a fuckin loser...who spends all their day glued to the computer talking about how stupid commercials are? dude get a life.

Windier E. Megatons said...

Whereas you, of course, are a cool, cool person who spends all day glued to the computer writing "cutting" responses to blogs he doesn't like. Oh, homework, you say? I'm interested to know what class requires you to Google the shooting scripts for Cingular commercials, and then post unoriginal, asinine comments on completely unrelated posts. Is that "How to Be a Total Jagoff on the Internet 101"?

Clock Cleaner said...

Oh yes. YES. God yes. This is gold I tell ya...GOLD.

As for anonymous, that is just such pathetic comment. Everything about it is so dumb. Laughed his ass off... wait for it... wait for it...because YOU'RE A FUCKIN LOSER! Not at the actual post! Get it? Get it? What a clever commenter!

And what is with his perception that bloggers spend all day writing posts? It takes 30 fucking minutes. At the most.