Sunday, September 2, 2007

Fantasy Rule #1: Be as obnoxious as possible

Lately I've found myself getting more and more annoyed with the omnipresence of football in this country. I like football, but there are entire three-hour radio shows devoted to talking about it in the middle of the offseason. That's overkill. Also overkill? The growth of fantasy football, which has itself led to radio and TV shows devoted entirely to which player you should take, as well as commercials like this:

I am going to go on record here: yes, there is an excuse for missing your fantasy football draft. In fact, I can think of an awful lot of things more important than fantasy football. Besides, I'm going to assume that the couple getting married had their wedding planned out pretty far in advance. Did none of this guy's draft buddies get his "save the date" card? Oh, what am I thinking - they're sports-loving men! The card probably came in a pink envelope, which means that just looking at it gave them hives.

Truth be told, though, this commercial probably doesn't go far enough. By being funny, the NFL is hedging a little bit; we know they sincerely believe that this guy should have made time for his draft, since that's the product they're selling, but they're hiding it just a little behind the joke. So here are some other concepts I think they could use in future commercials just so no one is unclear on the NFL's stance:

* The guy being called is in a hospital room, about to be handed his newborn child

* The guy being called is at his mother's funeral

* The guy being called is in a hospital room in a full body cast

* The guy being called is in the middle of a marriage counseling session with his fed-up wife

* The guy being called is lying dead on the floor as the phone rings in the background


Andrew N.P. said...

I always thought the first rule of fantasy football is "you do not talk about fantasy football." Or is that just wishful thinking on my part?

Anyway, this "no excuses" thing could make for a pretty fun parlor game. As in:


* You're a paramedic, there was a car accident, and your employer is pretty uptight about these things.

* One word: Iraq.

* Got a job coaching NFL reality football, heard something about a "conflict of interest"

* The Professor has yet to build a computer that can access out of bamboo and coconuts.

Qiana said...

Good post.