Friday, September 7, 2007

Chewable aphrodisiac

Some "historical hate" here in the form of a several year-old Dentyne gum ad:

Let me list off what's deeply concerning about this commercial:
1. The idea that cinnamon gum (something you put in your mouth) makes you want to have spontaneous sex
2. Having spontaneous sex (no matter how gum-inspired) in front of your parents
3. Acting nonchalant when your daughter is ripping off her boyfriend's clothes in your living room
4. Getting turned on by the sight of your daughter furiously making out with her boyfriend
5. Having spontaneous sex (no matter how gum-inspired) in front of your kids
6. Patently orgasmic "Oh, Kevin!!" scream at end of commercial

I think if you take those 6 things away, you've got yourself a pretty good commercial. Or at least you have a commercial that isn't fundamentally disturbing.

I did a little digging around on the internets, and I found a proprietary document from the former Dentyne Brand Manager. I probably shouldn't be posting this, and I can't reveal how exactly I found it, but I think this helps explain the commercial for those of us who were left a little confused. Here's the info, from a Word file titled "HowToMakeGoodAdsLikeDentyne's.doc":

9 Steps to Great, Hysterical Commercials
Step 1: Fire ad agency
Step 2: Assemble focus group of 13 year-old boys (suggestion: use beer as payment)
Step 3: Ask boys what they think is funny and/or cool
Step 4: Select very first idea as your "ad concept"
Step 5: Take idea home, drink fifth of whiskey, write commercial script, pass out
Step 6: Wake up on bathroom floor, fish script out of trash
Step 7: Without editing script, drive to shoot, make ad
Step 8: Wait for ad to be uploaded on YouTube, laugh at "hilarious" comments posted by other 13 year-olds who don't necessarily buy your product
Step 9: Once sales have plummeted, find new job, repeat steps 1-8

Illuminating, no? Really helps put my mind at ease. Makes you wonder if the guy(s) who made this Dentyne commercial didn't have a hand in some other ads featured on this site...


Quivering P. Landmass said...

I didn't want to take away from that commercial's badness in the post, but Dentyne did manage to make what I considered a good ad. It uses sex appeal effectively while keeping a non-offensive sense of humor. Observe:

Windier E. Megatons said...

It doesn't really help matters that no one in that ad is very attractive.