Wednesday, September 22, 2010

Like a good genie, State Farm is there

Hey, I just had a crazy idea. What if we decided to sell products based not on things they actually do, but on things they don't do nor possibly could? It's just retarded enough to work!

I'm guessing that people under the age of 35 were not buying enough insurance.

Friend 1: "Snatching stuff takes-" [rock smashes through window] "Oh! What is going on in here?"
Friend 2: "Uh oh."
Dude With Insurance: "It's okay, relax. Watch this." [singing poorly] "Like a good neighbor, State Farm is there!"
[State Farm Agent appears from nowhere]
Agent: "Hey Dave."

I'm guessing mid to late 20s for these guys. Do they really all remember this jingle? When was the last time State Farm used it before this series of ads? Whatever.

Friend 2: "Wow."
Friend 1: "Is that your agent?"
Dude: "It's the jingle."

Ugh. Talk about an annoying meta-concept. "Off-key renditions of our famous jingle are like the Bat Signal for our insurance agents!" How postmodern of you.

Dude: "Try it!"
Friend 1: "Uh, no."

You had the right idea.

Friend 2: [singing extremely poorly] "Like a good neighbor-"
Dude: "Just say it."
Friend 2: "State Farm is- is there."
Friend 1: "With a sandwich."
[A sandwich appears on the table]

What? Why? This has something to do with insurance? "Be insured against hunger, with State Farm."

Friend 2: "Ohhh yeah."
Dude: "And the girl from 4E?"
[Girl appears]

"Be insured against blue balls, with State Farm."

Friend 2: [inexplicably delivering his line like a Southern Baptist minister] "And can I get a hot tub?!"
[Hot tub appears in the middle of the room]
Agent: "Nice."

"Be insured against not looking like the kind of douchebag who has a hot tub in the center of his apartment, with State Farm."

Voiceover: "Find out what else State Farm agents can do for you at"

I think you mean "Find out what State Farm agents can do for you," since this commercial did not show me anything that a State Farm agent can actually do. They're not going to bring me a sandwich or make a hot tub appear in my apartment, and they're definitely not going to get me laid. For that matter, wasn't that agent here because of a broken window? What happened to that?

Selling products without referencing anything they do is one thing; that's old hat at this point, and frankly it's an odd commercial these days that focuses too heavily on its product's strengths. But selling a product based only on things it doesn't do, can't do, and will never, ever do no matter how much you use it? It's like a Coke ad that says it helps build strong bones or some shit. I would have just written this off as obviously intended to be silly humor if not for the fact that they explicitly use the word "else." What else can State Farm agents do for you? No. They cannot do anything shown, at any point. Here's what a State Farm agent can probably do for you: survey the damage, help you to file a claim, and then never be involved with you again until the next time something breaks in your house. Granted, that doesn't play as well on television.


Anonymous said...

"rock smashes through window"

Not that it's a big deal or anything; but I wanted to point out that it looks to have been a baseball. You can see that one guy picking it up and holding it at 0:06.

Anonymous said...

I'm surprised you left out the fact that it's a black guy who's saying "SNATCHING STUFF TAKES.." inferring that he's going to discuss the skill requirements of theft.

Quivering P. Landmass said...

Would not have wanted to be the guy running this ad through the Legal department at State Farm.

capewood said...

The version featuring women singing up an agent is even dumber. All the women were interested in was sex. At least one of these guys wanted something useful, like a sandwich.

Anonymous said...

Also, if you are running a 30 second ad that is a linear narrative, you shouldn't change camera angles twenty times. It's hard to watch. That's a real rookie mistake State Farm makes.

Anonymous said...

It's annoying and getting more annoying. Bad singing sells? Makes me go for the really hot "Flo" and get her insurance.

Bad sucks.

Anonymous said...

randomly came across this article, first off, the guys are in their early 20s. second, that's clearly who they are aiming their ads at so why would they actually talk about whatever their insurance does. i promise you that no one that age knows or really cares. lastly, i'm assuming you don't get laid because you clearly don't know what "blue balls" are...

cynthia said...

i'd make a sandwich for friend 1 anyday. can u say major hottie?!

Anonymous said...

YES! I was totally wondering if anyone else noticed the "SNATCHING STUFF" part of that commercial... THANK YOU! I am not insane.

Anonymous said...

there should be an alternate concept made where we hear what the black guy has to say about snatching stuff...... what does snatching stuff take black guy?