Saturday, June 7, 2008

A visibly drunk LeBron James shuffles to the free throw line...

Michelob Ultra seems to be confusing itself for Vitamin Water these days.

Voiceover: "You'll be surprised what's inside."

Based on the enormous orange you just zoomed through, I'm guessing I won't be all that surprised.

Voiceover: "Michelob Ultra fruit-infused beers. Tuscan Orange Grapefruit, Pomegranate Raspberry... and Lime Cactus."

We're still talking about beer, right? Not like wine coolers or Boone's Farm? Or Gatorade? Oh, right. You do want to be Gatorade. Here's even more proof of that:

Look, Michelob Ultra. I don't care how few carbs your beer has. It's beer, not some kind of health drink. It's only a "smart choice" relative to other beers, which is only saying so much. And what does it even mean for the beer to have "more than one dimension?" Because... it's both beer and a good Atkins Diet option? This is so stupid. If you're that concerned about cutting calories, stop drinking beer, you idiots. What's the degree of taste difference between Michelob Ultra and water anyway?

1 comment:

Quivering P. Landmass said...

Pomegranate Raspberry Michelob=DEFINITELY NOT beer. An insult to beer drinkers.

That is some weird mixed messages, "It's the beer for fruit-loving, health-conscious athletes." How many television-watching Americans even fit that target?