There will be a test later.

Pop quiz. How many of you can name at least one of the jackass things this woman was doing as she was walking down the street? Would you ever aspire to be like, hang around with, or smell like this woman?

Now, Question #2. Given that the ad is ostensibly all about the five reasons that make this product so unique and effective, how many of you can name at least one of them? I can't. That's because they were all in moderately-sized print at the top, away from the center of the screen, where our eyes are being drawn by (again) the jackass things this woman was doing as she was walking down the street. And the reasons are not recapped or summarized at the end- there's just a large graphic reminding you that the five reasons exist. As good as any of those characteristics of the deodorant might be, all I can take away from the commercial is how much I hate it and the character in it and, by association, the product.

Don't guzzle the product! You'll make the audience think it's good!

No YouTube available for this one: Starbucks Iced Coffee (Click "Iced Coffee Italian Roast," then the television.)

By and large, I like Starbucks' iced coffee (the in-store version, at least) a lot. I don't, however, understand why people in this commercial are so exasperated.

Crew member: Speed!

Director: Action!

Voiceover: Starbucks iced coffee, premium Italian roast coffee drink-

Director: Cut! Reset logo.

[A gloved production assistant comes by and turns the can, then spritzes it.]

Crew member: Let's do it again.

Voiceover: A premium Italian roast coffee drink with a hint of nonfat milk and sugar, available now.

Director: Cut! Cut, please!

Look how incredulous the director is, and the PA could not be any more disgusted as she stomps away.

Actor: Wow, that's great coffee! Let's do another take!

This is all in response to the actor demonstrating how great the product is (and maybe holding the can incorrectly, which we saw was easily rectified). It's even in-character for the commercial-within-the-commercial, which takes place on a desert island. If this behavior is worthy of so much disdain, more context is required. A sea of empty cans littering the floor. A digital clock showing that it's 4:00AM. Have an extra mutter "Uh oh, here comes 'Ten Takes Thompson,'" or exposit that the actor failed the bite-and-smile portion of Commercial Acting 101. OR, if the product shot at the end is the prop table, show me empty glasses, suggesting many, many, many takes instead of just "another."

Maybe the crew is dreading the numerous pee breaks that the "actor"'s going to need. Or, more likely, perhaps the "director" and "PA" are just hamming it up in the hopes that TBS will come calling to make a sitcom based on the wacky antics of the coffee commercial crew. Stupider things have happened.