Sunday, November 30, 2008

Possibly the worst commercial ever made

It's hard to define the "worst commercial ever made." But I think I would suggest that some good qualifications for the title would be (a) being incredibly unfunny; (b) featuring things that no human would ever say; and (c) being really creepy. Congratulations, AT&T: the only way this ad could have been worse is if it were also racist.



Black guy's thumbs: "Funny is knocking at the door, and he wants to partay!"

This is not funny. It is not something anyone would ever say to indicate that they found something funny. And good God, those thumbs with the faces on them are creepy as fuck.

Nerdy white guy's thumbs: "That's insanium in the cranium, dawg!"

Kill me.

Goth girl's thumbs: "I'm laughing on the dark, abysmal inside. Heh heh."

Ugh. Hey, goths like dark things! You knew that, right? Please let this end.

Guy with a hat's thumbs: "Shake your funny-maker. Shake it. Shake it hard."

I would like to shake the person who wrote this ad hard. And slap them across the face a few times.

Blonde woman's thumbs: "If they bottled that kind of funny, I'd buy it! Hilarity, by Daryl."

The bottled version of this ad: "Crippling Head Pain, by AT&T."

Announcer: "How would you say LOL?"

Not any of those ways, not in a million years. And neither would anyone else. Ever.

Announcer: "With a full keyboard, it's easier to text it how you say it."

Oh God. That's the point of this ad? That is all you were using this ridiculous bullshit to sell? Guess what - even with a full keyboard on a computer, when I indicate that something is funny, I might type the onomatopoeia of a laugh. I would not, in a jillion fucking years, write that something funny my friend said was "insanium in the cranium," and anyone who would should immediately be euthanized for the good of humanity.

More importantly, why did they have to use the horrible, creepy talking thumbs? God, they're awful. This ad was written, produced, looked at by probably dozens of people, and apparently not one of them said "This is really awful" or "This isn't funny at all" or "Those thumbs look like garbage and they're terrifying" or anything. Or, which would be worse, these things were said and AT&T just figured that the public at large will laugh at anything. Based on the YouTube comments, it seems like that might be true. Gag.

12 comments:

Quivering P. Landmass said...

Yeah, people just DO NOT talk like that. Or write like that. At least, not anyone I know.

www.speakinthumbs.com wasn't as bad as I'd expected. Pretty weak site -- users can go and submit their own definitions of common abbreviated TXT expressions like "BFF" and the like. I guess I don't get why we need any further definition of that phrase beyond "best friends forever." Most of those abbreviations are entirely self-explanatory.

If I didn't love the iPhone, this is the kind of commercial that would make me want to dump AT&T.

Windier E. Megatons said...

Yeah, what? Definitions of abbreviations? The definition of an abbreviation is the thing it's abbreviating. Jesus. So stupid.

Patrick said...

Yeah, I think I might have to agree with you guys. This ad is just plain awful. And it's all just over the top stereotypes. It's honestly a fairly startlingly honest portrait of how ad people think regular people behave.

Windier E. Megatons said...

Just to prove how good a job this ad does of selling its product, it occurred to me today that "Cingular" hasn't existed for like two years. References have been changed to AT&T, but the ad still sucks.

Svin said...

a little common sense would be nice in the production of these ads. this one makes me want to vomit

all thumbs said...

This ad is INSANIUM IN THE CRAINIUM, DAWG!!!!!!!!!

Zed said...

If this ad was backed by the "Saved By Zero" song, I'm pretty sure the universe would implode upon itself.

Svin said...

aaaargh saved by zero

Anonymous said...

Is it really that necessary to go so postal over a commercial? They are just saying it is easier to type a lot with it. Not a big deal.

Anonymous said...

Betch!

Anonymous said...

i hate this commercial more than anything else in the world. more than racism or war or the concept of pain and loneliness.

Anonymous said...

I LOATH that commercial. I would like to find the actor that played the hippy fag at the end, and beat him to death with a rotary phone! Who the fuck came up with this shit show idea. Rot in hell 'insanium in the cranium" dork from even stevens. You belong on the set of Gummo!