Guess who's back?
More Naomi Campbell and CGIed lizards? I mean, was it that successful and/or thrillicious? We have the same bad actress that nobody likes (by the way, if you're a celebrity and E! doesn't approve of you, you have a problem), the same stupid lizards (but this time they've got costumes on!) and the same general sense of pointless overproduction.
What's Naomi Campbell's motivation for joyfully carousing with a lounge of lizards? Some weird lizard fetish? Is the lizard kiss supposed to be funny, or sexy, or... I just don't understand how I'm supposed to react to it. It's unsettling to say the least. The tropical beach background, the lilting sounds of Santana, the self-serious expression on Campbell's face when she kisses the lizard -- it all points to a very genuine portrayal of supermodel-lizard sexual attraction.
New delicious flavors for summer -- Life Water. Thrillicious
Since this ad doesn't use "Thriller," why are we going back to Thrillicious? Why not "BlackMagicWoman-icious"? "Carlos Santanicious"? Also, this doesn't even tell you what the flavors are. Or anything about the product. They rely a little too heavily on hoping Naomi Campbell+animated lizards will resonate with people, and not just remind them of Geico. I wonder how much car insurance sales have gone up since this campaign started.
I had hoped, desperately, that we'd seen the last of dancing lizards commercials. But I think now we're in for a long ride. Somebody over at SoBe must just be over the moon with this whole concept. Next up: "Life Water After Dark" -- new flavors to put you in the mood, with an ad featuring our favorite, laugh-a-minute lizards fertilizing freshly laid eggs by Naomi Campbell. If you can't move product by showing in vitro human-lizard hybrids, then you don't deserve to be in the ad business.
Showing posts with label unnecessary computer animation. Show all posts
Showing posts with label unnecessary computer animation. Show all posts
Tuesday, July 15, 2008
Saturday, October 27, 2007
It is so creepy
You know how when you eat meat, you don't really want to run into a big piece of fat or tendon or anything, not just because it's gross, but because it reminds you that you're eating what used to be a living animal? I kind of feel the same way about yogurt.
It's one thing to know there's live cultures in your yogurt. It's another thing to see them animated (awkwardly) and running amok on your TV screen. This is the best way they had to get the point across? Hey, live and active cultures! The voice-over woman even makes sure to put extra stress on "live" and "active" when she says them for the second time in five seconds. "Get it? Active! Look, they're dancing around!" And spinning plates to "Sabre Dance" in what seems like an homage to the Ed Sullivan Show, because this is 1965 and everyone will get that joke. They'll also definitely get the reference to the films of Busby Berkeley that follows, because this is 1936 and his career is at its peak. Maybe in the follow-up to this ad we can see the cultures dressed in leisure suits, dancing to "Stayin' Alive." You know, 'cause they're live cultures? Oh man, this is pure gold!
Maybe the problem is the way the cultures are depicted. They look like little pink squishy pigs, except they stand on two feet and have defined limbs. That's just kind of horrifying. Can you imagine if you were watching one of those old Beef: It's What's For Dinner ads and a CGI cow jumped off the stove and started dancing around to "Hoedown" while the voice-over suggested various ways to prepare the meat? Frankly, that's not even close to as bad because at least you can see cows with the naked eye. I'm fine with live cultures when I can't see them. When they're doing backflips into my yogurt like I'm about to eat a cup of strawberry-flavored ants, I think that's where I stop being very hungry.
It's one thing to know there's live cultures in your yogurt. It's another thing to see them animated (awkwardly) and running amok on your TV screen. This is the best way they had to get the point across? Hey, live and active cultures! The voice-over woman even makes sure to put extra stress on "live" and "active" when she says them for the second time in five seconds. "Get it? Active! Look, they're dancing around!" And spinning plates to "Sabre Dance" in what seems like an homage to the Ed Sullivan Show, because this is 1965 and everyone will get that joke. They'll also definitely get the reference to the films of Busby Berkeley that follows, because this is 1936 and his career is at its peak. Maybe in the follow-up to this ad we can see the cultures dressed in leisure suits, dancing to "Stayin' Alive." You know, 'cause they're live cultures? Oh man, this is pure gold!
Maybe the problem is the way the cultures are depicted. They look like little pink squishy pigs, except they stand on two feet and have defined limbs. That's just kind of horrifying. Can you imagine if you were watching one of those old Beef: It's What's For Dinner ads and a CGI cow jumped off the stove and started dancing around to "Hoedown" while the voice-over suggested various ways to prepare the meat? Frankly, that's not even close to as bad because at least you can see cows with the naked eye. I'm fine with live cultures when I can't see them. When they're doing backflips into my yogurt like I'm about to eat a cup of strawberry-flavored ants, I think that's where I stop being very hungry.
Saturday, July 7, 2007
Insects can sell anything!
The folks at Nasonex grew up eating a lot of Cheerios:
Because this isn't the worst ad I've ever seen, I want to call out the good and the bad.
GOOD:
Actually talks about product
Shows differentiating information (i.e. 6 million people claim)
Does not use following words, "Big, juicy, yo, mmm, mama, rocks, lad, rip, go, thinkin', heavy-duty, meat, Olive Garden"
BAD:
The bee
Bad acting
Typical pharmaceutical ad boilerplate
The bee
Confusing a frisbee with a boomerang (frisbees do not change directions like that)
Questionable decor in the living room
The bee
Hmm... I'm sure there's a couple other small things about this commercial that suck...
Oh, and, the &*$#@% bee
There's one overarching flaw with this commercial, isn't there? I'll give you a hint: it's incredibly distracting, unforgivably annoying, and rhymes with "painfulLY."
I want to help Nasonex out here. So I've decided to write an FAQ that Nasonex can place up on www.nasonex.com in case any visitors have questions about these ads. Feel free to reprint this on your site, Nasonex -- I do not expect any payment or acknowledgment. I just want to pitch in and do my part.
Q: Why is there a bee in your ads?
A: The bee is a whimsical representation of a nasal allergy congestion sufferer. Bees are close to flowers and pollen all day, so who better to pitch our brand than mother nature's allergy expert? Also, our Marketing Director is an amateur apiarist and has kind of a weird, fetishy thing for bees.
Q: Why is the bee so poorly animated?
A: As it turns out, computer animation is on the pricier side. Our solution was to have our Marketing Director's 8-year old use Microsoft Paint to create the first round of animation. After that, we bid out the animation contract to many different studios to make sure we got the bee we wanted, with the most important factor in the decision being price. As I think you'll see, the bee has come a long way since that first round of animation.
Q: What's up with the bee's ridiculous accent? Isn't that unnecessary?
A: That accent is actually the work of Hollywood superstar Antonio Banderas! I'm surprised you couldn't tell that just by listening!
Q: Seriously? You went out and got Banderas for the voice of that bee?
A: Seriously! That is indeed Antonio, the Andalusian master himself.
Q: Why would you spend so much money on Antonio Banderas if no casual viewer would ever know it's him?
A: Well, we had a lot of money left over from the animation budget.
Q: How come the bee doesn't know how to emphasize words properly? Doesn't this make everyone want to turn the channel immediately?
A: We think that's just part of the bee's character and charm! He's a wacky, fun-loving Spanish bee, and he has a wacky, fun-loving delivery. Also, we could only afford one take with Antonio.
Let me put it plainly, Nasonex. If you took the bee out of this commercial, you would never have been written up in this blog in the first place. The bee was completely uncalled-for, and it's not helping your commercial. For instance, look at these real-life comments from viewers on your ad on YouTube:
The bee is a cartoon character. Cartoon characters sell products to kids -- think: Tony the Tiger, the Trix rabbit, Joe Camel. Adults looking for nasal allergy symptom relief are probably not going to respond to a cartoon. Much less a poorly-executed, manically-voiced one.
Next time, cut out the bee, teach your actors how to sneeze convincingly, add in a personable spokesman, and fire your freaking computer graphics company.
Because this isn't the worst ad I've ever seen, I want to call out the good and the bad.
GOOD:
Actually talks about product
Shows differentiating information (i.e. 6 million people claim)
Does not use following words, "Big, juicy, yo, mmm, mama, rocks, lad, rip, go, thinkin', heavy-duty, meat, Olive Garden"
BAD:
The bee
Bad acting
Typical pharmaceutical ad boilerplate
The bee
Confusing a frisbee with a boomerang (frisbees do not change directions like that)
Questionable decor in the living room
The bee
Hmm... I'm sure there's a couple other small things about this commercial that suck...
Oh, and, the &*$#@% bee
There's one overarching flaw with this commercial, isn't there? I'll give you a hint: it's incredibly distracting, unforgivably annoying, and rhymes with "painfulLY."
I want to help Nasonex out here. So I've decided to write an FAQ that Nasonex can place up on www.nasonex.com in case any visitors have questions about these ads. Feel free to reprint this on your site, Nasonex -- I do not expect any payment or acknowledgment. I just want to pitch in and do my part.
Q: Why is there a bee in your ads?
A: The bee is a whimsical representation of a nasal allergy congestion sufferer. Bees are close to flowers and pollen all day, so who better to pitch our brand than mother nature's allergy expert? Also, our Marketing Director is an amateur apiarist and has kind of a weird, fetishy thing for bees.
Q: Why is the bee so poorly animated?
A: As it turns out, computer animation is on the pricier side. Our solution was to have our Marketing Director's 8-year old use Microsoft Paint to create the first round of animation. After that, we bid out the animation contract to many different studios to make sure we got the bee we wanted, with the most important factor in the decision being price. As I think you'll see, the bee has come a long way since that first round of animation.
Q: What's up with the bee's ridiculous accent? Isn't that unnecessary?
A: That accent is actually the work of Hollywood superstar Antonio Banderas! I'm surprised you couldn't tell that just by listening!
Q: Seriously? You went out and got Banderas for the voice of that bee?
A: Seriously! That is indeed Antonio, the Andalusian master himself.
Q: Why would you spend so much money on Antonio Banderas if no casual viewer would ever know it's him?
A: Well, we had a lot of money left over from the animation budget.
Q: How come the bee doesn't know how to emphasize words properly? Doesn't this make everyone want to turn the channel immediately?
A: We think that's just part of the bee's character and charm! He's a wacky, fun-loving Spanish bee, and he has a wacky, fun-loving delivery. Also, we could only afford one take with Antonio.
Let me put it plainly, Nasonex. If you took the bee out of this commercial, you would never have been written up in this blog in the first place. The bee was completely uncalled-for, and it's not helping your commercial. For instance, look at these real-life comments from viewers on your ad on YouTube:
My 18mth old daughter loves this bee!
Now, Nasonex, I know you might be thinking, "Bitchin'! People love these ads!" But I want you to stop and think if there's anything fishy about those comments. Like, maybe they're all about kids? Like, kids under 2-years old? And are 2-year olds getting prescriptions for nasal allergy congestion medication? See where I'm going with this? Marked as spam
My 20 month old daughter goes NUTS for this bee too!!! THANKS!!!
Marked as spam
Thank you! My toddler goes apeshit over this 'Nasonex Bee'!
The bee is a cartoon character. Cartoon characters sell products to kids -- think: Tony the Tiger, the Trix rabbit, Joe Camel. Adults looking for nasal allergy symptom relief are probably not going to respond to a cartoon. Much less a poorly-executed, manically-voiced one.
Next time, cut out the bee, teach your actors how to sneeze convincingly, add in a personable spokesman, and fire your freaking computer graphics company.
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