Under no circumstances should you even think about "doing one"

I'm glad that Dairy Queen didn't use their "Do one" tagline for this ad. I can't say that makes it much less horrible, though.



Okay, seriously. How old are those kids - eight? This is appalling. "Don't worry about getting two sundaes, Mom. I'm just going to flirt with that boy over there. Tee hee!" This isn't a damn singles bar. And why is the mom's response just a look that verges problematically between astonishment and being impressed, rather than dragging her daughter out of the place by the ear, which is what should be happening?

Where did that sundae come from, anyway? It shows up in like five seconds! I'm supposed to believe that kid paid for that thing, even though he doesn't seem to ever get up? Does he have a tab? Is he like that skeevy drunk who sits at the end of the bar and sends a cosmopolitan to any halfway attractive girl who glances in his direction? God. The only way this could be worse would be if he sent her a banana split and they showed her eating the banana. "Jeez, Mom, I'm almost nine. I know how to eat a banana."

Now I kind of feel like I'm going to go into a Dairy Queen and Chris Hansen is going to be behind the counter to ask me what I'm doing there. But aside from that awful creepiness, A+, Dairy Queen.

You can use sex to sell anything, right? Right?

...Right??

See "Chocolate Sauce" and "Trail."

My first question: That's frigging nasty. Okay, that wasn't really a question. My next question: How come the waffle bowl is a person, and the ice cream is a person, but the chocolate sauce is really chocolate sauce and the whipped cream is really whipped cream? So it's too far to have a threesome, but it's totally okay to eat two things that just had sex with each other. Just so we know we've got our priorities straight.