Viagra for Your Beard

So you want to add some computer animation into your ad. Don't blame you -- it's the "in" thing to do. What you might want to avoid? Creepy, Lidsville-esque, CGIed hair that's trying to sell pre-shave lotion:

(Sorry for the poor quality, but I guess Lectric Shave commercials aren't popular enough for people to digitally record them onto their computers. Go figure.)

Announcer: Wake up your whiskers, with Lectric Shave!

Why do the whiskers have little faces on them that match the head they grow on? Does this seem crazy? What guy thinks of his beard like this? "Dude, maybe they're like tiny versions of me growing all over my face. And they get a little sleepy in the morning, so I have to wake them up!"

Whiskers: Lectric Shave!

Who doesn't enjoy seeing flaccid whiskers perk up at the sight of some pre-shave "lotion."

Announcer: Stands up whiskers for an up to 52% closer shave.

Okay, this is actually good. Thank you for putting a claim in this otherwise insane, dizzying commercial.

Decapitated whisker: Man, that was close.

I just don't know that they really thought this one through. This whisker seems awfully excited for someone who's floating into a pale blue chasm of death. He's just been sliced by an enormous spinning blade, and, with his last words, he utters a goofy pun. Just... odd.

Announcer: Blade Close... Lectric Smooth.

By the way, Williams, thank you for inventing the word "lectric." Humanity is indebted to you.

Lectric Shave, along with its sister shave-product, Aqua Velva, is about the most old man-ish, most fuddy duddy product you could market. So you're not helping yourself by spending money creating weird, nonsensical animation and hiring chubby male models who were brought to the present by a time machine sent from the '70's. Just show us your product, make your claims, and spare us the nightmares we're going to have where our beards become little people and start begging us to slice off their heads.